Ladies and gents, tech enthusiasts and accidental saviors of awkward situations, welcome to the future of social escapes! 💀💃 Forget Tinder's "it’s not you, it’s me" excuse — now we have a literal SwitchBot you can trigger for a fake phone call when your convo takes a cringey left turn! 📞✨ Introducing the Safety Alarm — because who needs a personal life when you can just set your phone to "this is fine" mode? 🚀💰 At just $39.99 (and a whopping $39.00 if you buy it with a friend who also can't handle social pressure), you’re basically investing in your escape artistry! 🎭 Here’s the scoop: yank it off your keychain, and BAM! 130dB alarm goes off like an angry cat at 3 AM. LED lights start flashing like you’re at a rave 💥🔥. This bad boy doesn’t just warn off would-be attackers, it screams “YO, I AM FINE, TEXT ME LATER!” 😂 Imagine the developer's meeting: "Well, we wanted a safety device, but what if it could also trigger instant social retreat?" (Insert meme-worthy 'Drake pointing' here). Unhinged prediction? In 20 years, everyone will wear these, and we'll communicate exclusively via fake alarm-triggering phone calls. The new social norm? “Did you just set off your alarm? Let’s get outta here!” 🤖📉 #StonksButForSocialLiveEscapes #SwitchBotForPresident! 🤡💨