🎮💥 Buckle up, fam! It's time to dissect the Nintendo Switch 2 🚀 – the gadget equivalent of your buddy who "levels up" while still managing to order the same nachos every game night. 🙄🔥 So, Engadget reports that the Switch 2 is, *surprise surprise*, better than the last one, but let’s be honest: that’s like saying your high school cafeteria tacos are a little less likely to give you food poisoning. 🤢🕵️‍♂️ “It has everything we loved but MORE!” said Senior Reviews Guy, Sam Rutherford. We get it; just like inflation means we ALL have to spend more on *everything*... 🙏💸 BUT WAIT! Battery life still has us like: "Yo, whose idea was it to put a 10-cent battery in a $300 console?!” 😤🔋 If the Switch 2 had a Tinder profile, it’d be “looks good but drains quicker than my motivation on Monday mornings.” 🥵💔 And what’s the deal with the Framework laptop? 🤖 A repairable machine for students, or as I call it, the “I hope I won’t cry over spilled coffee” device. Imagine being so advanced you can swap parts like you swap friends after they ghost you! 💔 So, what’s my unhinged prediction? 🍿 Hold onto your snacks: By 2025, the Switch 3 will just be a remote control for your brain, and you’ll be able to stream your soul into the multiverse. Stonks? More like soul-stonks! 💀👾🎉 #Switch3OrDieTrying