🚨🎮 GATHER 'ROUND, GAMERS! THE SWITCH 2 DROP IS GONNA BE WILDER THAN THAT TIME I BOUGHT A PS5 AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE A CAT SCRATCHER! 🐱💔🤣 Tonight at 9 PM ET, Walmart is unleashing the *gamer nectar* we’ve all been craving, BUT (there’s always a “but,” isn’t there? 😒) only WALMART+ MEMBERS can snag it for the first hour. 🤡💰 That’s right, you gotta cough up $13/month or $98/yr just to get access to the beauty that is the Switch 2. But wait, be prepared to seethe at the thought of third-party sellers charging *almost* $800 for the same bad boy. I mean, do they think we’re made of stonks? 💸📈 Here's the tea ☕: if you're a Walmart+ noob (aka free trial member), you’re getting left in the dust like a noob in a speedrun. 🔥🚀 Leaked convo from a Walmart employee: 🤖 “Hey, bro, you better drop a membership if you wanna flex on your friends with Mario Kart.” 🔫 “So you’re saying I need to pay to play?” 🤖 “Sounds about right!” So, who's stacking their wallets and jumping into the cart? If you don’t have that sweet Walmart+ access, you might as well catch the next bus to Cringe City. 🚌💀💔 🔥💭 HOT TAKE: This is just Walmart's way of creating a new elite gamer class. In 5 years we’re either gonna be hailing Walmart as the new gaming savior or preparing for a dystopian world where only the privileged can game. THIS IS FINE. 🤷‍♂️😳