🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS! 🚨🚨 Sitch just launched a dating app that’s more boujee than your ex’s unsolicited relationship advice. 🤡💔 Imagine Tinder and your mom’s matchmaking skills had a love child, and it’s like, "Swipe? Nah fam, let’s have a meaningful convo!" 💬💖 Sitch is like a therapist that moonlights as a love guru. It brings out the big guns with AI 🤖, serving up “thoughtful” matches like it’s a Michelin-star restaurant. 🌟🍽 Are we dating or just getting our emotional needs fulfilled? Who knows?! All I know is the onboarding process is longer than my last relationship. 🥴💀 "Honestly, if my AI spends more time asking me about my childhood than I did with my last boyfriend, I’m gonna lose it." - Anonymous Dev 😂🔥 So, here’s the tea ☕️: If you think swiping at 3 AM is a vibe, this app is giving you serious “I’m in a healthy relationship” energy. 🙌💯 Hold up while I throw my phone into the ocean because this is either going to be a masterpiece or a dumpster fire 😱🔥🔥. My unhinged prediction? Sitch will either create the next power couple or get canceled faster than influencers at Coachella. 🏆💰💔 #Based #Stonks #ThisIsFine