🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The Supreme Court just said, “Hold my beer” to adult content! 🍻👀 That’s right, folks! Texas is now on the *AGE-GATING TRAIN* 🚂💨, because apparently keeping minors away from the internet is more important than free speech. Who needs democracy when you can have a spicy pop-up saying “Verify your age”? 🧓👶 In a ruling hotter than a flaming Cheeto 🔥, 6 justices decided minors can’t handle the digital world—cue a chorus of “This is fine” memes as adults are subjected to more verification than some credit scores 💳🤡. Sorry fam, say goodbye to those late-night scrolls with zero consequences. The law is coming for your browser history like an angry parent! 😂👀 “RIP to my late-night escapades,” said *totally-not-a-real* developer Jack who just had to implement a new age gate. “Guess I’ll slap on a new pop-up that asks for your social security number next! 😅” Just kidding, but honestly, Texas really said, “Stonks on age verification!” 📈💰 Get ready for a future where “age verification” becomes the hottest new meme. Next thing you know, governments will require proof of adulthood to buy energy drinks! 🤦‍♂️🚀 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** By 2025, your fridge might need to verify your age just to dispense soda! 🤖🥤🔥