🚨🎉 BREAKING: SUPABASE JUST TURNED $100M INTO A DATABASE SUPERPOWAAAAAHH!!! 💸💥 So, like, five months after Databricks went full-on Thanos mode and snapped up competitors for $1 billion 💰💀, Supabase strolls in with a $100M bag to fund their brand new baby called MULTIGRES. 🍔✨ Sounds like a Pokémon but for databases? Gimme that evolution! Led by the fine folks at Accel and Peak XV, they’ve officially crossed the $5B mark in valuation. 😱📈 *Cue meme of Drake pointing with disappointment at all other databases that are still using Comic Sans for error messages* 💔✍️ Leaked developer convo: 👨‍💻 Developer 1: "We just raised HOW MUCH?!?" 👨‍💻 Developer 2: “I guess they finally realized no one wants to be stuck on MySQL, fr fr.” 🥴 Now in a world where SQL is a lifestyle and every new database tool sounds like it was named by a 10-year-old who just discovered emojis, can we please chill with the database drama? 😂🔥 🌌 UNHINGED HOT TAKE: In 2030, we will ALL be using Multigres to train our AI overlords, and only those who can prove they know how to spell "PostgreSQL" will be allowed access to the Matrix. 🤖💀 #stonks #databasetok