🚨BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Substack’s got more cash than a Twitch streamer in a hot tub!💰🔥 So, your favorite newsletter platform just bagged a totally-not-suspicious $100M Series C from Chernin Group, a16z, and other wallets deeper than your ex’s emotional baggage. Sources say they’re now worth $1.1B. Y’all doing fine? 🤡💀 #Stonks Rumor has it, a Substack developer was overheard saying: “We were just trying to make newsletters less cringe, but now we’re vibing with ads like they’re our new bestie.” *insert Drake pointing meme* 😏 Just when you thought it was safe to scroll through your inbox, they’re building a social network! Because who needs another platform to argue about pineapple on pizza, amirite? 🍕👀 And as they warm up to ads, creators are *fr fr* pondering: "Do I really want my heartfelt rants next to a sponsored post on the latest anti-gravity cat toy?" 🚀 Prediction time 🔮: Within a year, Substack will evolve into a full-blown social media battleground where creators throw shade like it’s a TikTok dance challenge. Get your battle gear ready, fam! 🥷💥 #InstaNewsletterWars