🚨💸 **BREAKING: STUDENT LOAN REPAYMENT PLANS ARE MORE PERMANENT THAN YOUR HIGH SCHOOL RELATIONSHIP!** 💔💀 Alright fam, buckle up because we’re about to deep-dive into the drama of student loans and the new budget bill that’s got us all more stressed than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. 😂💥 For those of you vibing on a budget, get ready for monthly payments that are as stable as your ex’s excuses! 🤡💔 So here’s the tea ☕️: President Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill” (like, who approved that title?! 😂) means you might be paying less *monthly,* but just when you thought you could save for avocado toast, the interest is gonna hit like your favorite horror movie: BOO!👻 Expect to end up shelling out more in the long run. Talk about a plot twist! 😳 🔮👀 *Leaked developer quote:* "We basically designed this like a subscription service. Sorry not sorry! 😜" This is as cringe as the “forever” relationship you told your parents about. And just when you thought the student loan saga couldn’t get spicier... Spoiler alert: it’s about to last as long as your mortgage! “This is fine.” 🔥 Hot take: Within a decade, student loans will be packaged in a TikTok dance challenge and marketed like NFTs. Prepare for college diplomas to be used as trading cards! 💥🚀 Fr fr, get ready to flex your degree on OnlyFans! #Stonks