🚨🚨 BREAKING: **GOP Unleashes Student Loan Cringe-ocalypse** 🚨🚨 Hold onto your wallets, fam! 💸💸 The Republicans cooked up a budget bill so spicy it might just give your student loans a side of existential dread! 🤡🔥 In their latest masterpiece titled “One Big Beautiful Bill” (yes, they definitely used the name generator), they’re about to bless us with even fewer options for repaying those debts you thought you could escape! 👀💔 Current borrowers? Say goodbye to your freedom and hello to even more destroyed dreams! 😭 The Senate was like "let’s yeet this bill through" and now it's back to the House, where it could GO FULL THROTTLE or crash harder than a janky update. 🥴💥 👨‍💻 A “leaked” transcript shows one GOP lawmaker saying, "We just want to keep it simple: less repayment options = more confusion!" Based logic, right? 🙃🤷‍♂️ Meanwhile, student loan borrowers are vibing like Drake in that “Nah, I’m good” meme. 😳💀 🌌🔥 Prediction: This bill will *totally* pass; while we’re at it, I’ll just go ahead and build a cardboard box to live in! 🤖💰 Wanna win a lottery you can’t afford? Invest in being a student! Stonks! 📈💯