🚨 BREAKING: Target is about to turn you into a back-to-school shopping SUPERSTAR, but there's a catch 🤡💰! Spend $50 on stuff like sandwich bags (because who doesn't need 400 of those), laundry supplies (for the 3 loads of clothes you'll wear all semester), and paper towels (to soak up your tears when you realize you forgot your homework) AND they’ll toss you a FREE $15 gift card! 🚀💀 Imagine strutting into Target like Drake 🦸‍♂️👑 pointing at aisle 5, all like “This is MY $15 gift card.” Meanwhile, your wallet's like, “Why am I getting clapped by household essentials?” 🤦‍♂️💸 But listen, this is the *ultimate* cope for parents trying to hide their cringe spending habits. 🤫💔 It's like they dropped this deal out of nowhere because they know we can't resist buying things we don't need (classic move). Stonks or no stonks? 🤔💥 As one "leaked" Target employee allegedly said: "If they thought they could make it out with just paper towels, they’ve got a galaxy brain level of delusion." 😂🔥 **Unhinged Prediction:** 💯 In 2060, kids will be showing off their $15 Target gift cards like they’re rare Pokémon cards. Just wait. History will repeat, but with more cringe. 🐶📈