🚨 🌌 BREAKING: Starlink’s $15 Plan is Hitting NYC, But There's a Catch! 🎩💸 So listen up! You want high-speed internet in the concrete jungle? Well, you might need to send up a smoke signal first! 🔥💨 According to *leaked footage* from a Starlink dev meeting, they said, “We’re basically giving away internet like it’s 1999, but like, make sure you qualify, so only the coolest kids get it.” I’m pretty sure the ‘cool kids’ still have to fork over $349 upfront... so, 🤡 that’s NOT a vibe. Let’s break it down like a TikTok dance: 💃 you can snag that spicy, affordable $15-a-month plan if you’re not too poor, but also if you can do a cartwheel on the way to the moon. 🚀 *Drake meme* 👉 “This is fine” if you’re broke, but *Galaxy Brain* 🤯 if you can pay the startup fee... Meanwhile, Elon is probably playing chess while we're all here just trying to find Wi-Fi in the park. But let’s be real, New Yorkers are gonna need to get that dough! 💰 Brace yourselves for people selling organs on Craigslist for that initial fee, #Stonks. 🏦 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2025, Starlink will have a pay-per-click model where you’ll pay $1 every time you open Facebook. The future is now, fam! 🤖💀