🎉🚨BREAKING: St. Paul MN just got hacked so hard even the National Guard showed up like it was a sci-fi movie night gone wrong! 💥🤖💀 Seriously, it’s like the villains from Batman decided to throw a digital rave in our backyards. 🦇🎉 Every few days, it’s like a new city gets hit by the Ransomware Express 🚂💰. Abilene was like, “Nah fam, we ain’t paying!” and now they’re literally using pen and paper like it’s 1995. ✍️🗃️ Meanwhile, I can just imagine their mayor saying, “This is fine 😅🔥”, as they draw doodles in the margins instead of running a city. STONKS? More like STONKS DOWN! 📉 And yo, peep this leaked convo from a fictitious IT dev: 👾 Dev 1: “Dude, we’re totally going back to rotary phones.” 👾 Dev 2: “Based! I’ve always wanted to call my crush like it’s 1984!” Like, guys, this isn’t an episode of Stranger Things!! 🔥💥ULTIMATE PREDICTION: In 2025, cities will stop using tech entirely and start choosing their mayors based on who can draw the best stick figures. Your move, future! 🤡💯