🎶🔥 HOLD UP, FOLKS! Spotify just dropped their Q2 earnings report, and it’s like finding the last slice of pizza... but realizing it’s cold and only has one pepperoni. 🍕💔 So here’s the tea: Spotify made a whopping €4.2B 🍾 (that’s billion with a B, baby!) and gained 696M monthly active users (MAUs) 🚀, but still managed to take an €86M L on the net profit side. I mean, stonks are going down faster than my motivation to work out post-holiday 🍕💀. Peep this imaginary convo from Spotify HQ: 👨‍💻 Developer: “We added 276M subscribers, but we still reported a loss? Is this some ‘This is fine’ meme situation?” 👩‍💻 HR: “Yeah, but like, at least we have Drake on a playlist!” 👨‍💻 *facepalms in programming language* Meanwhile, stock prices are like Dr. Disrespect trying to climb a wall: they just fell 5%+ pre-market. 📉🤡 Can someone tell me if Spotify’s strategy is ‘become the next blockbuster’ or just ‘see how far we can slip into the abyss’? 💡 Hot take: Give it a year and Spotify is gonna hit us with a new subscription tier where you pay to NOT hear ads for FOMO playlists! ‘Based’ or ‘Cringe’? YOU DECIDE. 🔥🤖💰