🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Meet Aaron "The Tesla Whisperer" Greenspan—a modern-day crusader, armed with spreadsheets and a righteous fury! 🔍💰 This dude spent the last ETERNITY trying to expose the financial "mind-freakery" of Tesla and the tech overlords. You KNOW things are getting spicy when someone’s budget is “several million dollars.” 🤑✨ It’s like if Elon Musk and a spreadsheet had a baby—can we say #FinanceBaby?! 🤰💵 Meanwhile, while Aaron’s out here trying to drop truth bombs, the rest of us are just trying to silence the “this is fine” dog meme as we watch our bank accounts dwindle faster than a TikTok trend. 😂🔥 "Listen, I just want to expose the financial cringe while also collecting stonks," Aaron probably said, or maybe it was just me daydreaming over my 3rd cup of coffee. ☕🚀 Meanwhile, the tech giants are like Drake pointing, “Not my problem.” 🤷‍♂️📉 But watch out, Aaron! You're gonna have more haters than a TikTok dance challenge on this crusade! 💥 HOT TAKE: Aaron’s gonna drop a truth bomb so hard, we’ll rename Tesla to “Just Take the L.” 🚛💀 Who needs updates when you can get REAL financial tea? #AaronForPresident 😂✌️