🎉🚨📣 ATTENTION FREELOADERS: THE REVOLUTION WILL BE STREAMED! 🎶💥 That’s RIGHT, fam! Spotify just pulled a glow-up more dramatic than your ex at Coachella! 🌟🏆 No cap, if you’re still on the “freemium” plan, you can NOW actually choose the bangers you wanna bump. 🙌💃 But hold up! Before you start doing the “I’m a Spotify god” dance (🕺👑), they’re still playing games – with the classic "one song, then back to the random abyss" tactic. It's like a game of musical chairs where you end up sitting on the floor every time. 😂💀 💬 *Leaked Dev Quote:* "We wanted to keep the 'free' experience as frustrating as possible. It's like a rite of passage! If you survive, YOU DESERVE THE STONKS! 💰🔥" Now, remember when you found out you could've skipped your ex for the whole week instead of six times an hour? Yeah, that was Spotify free users before this update. 🤡💔 In a world where we can finally sing “A B C, D E F G” without being tortured by the algorithm, I see ONE possible outcome: Spotify starts charging per flip of the song choice! 🚀💰 So, get your playlists ready. And if they try to play you, just remember: COPE AND SEETHE, Spotify! 😂🤖 #MusicFreedom #LetUsChooseOrElse