🚀💰👽🌌 Hold onto your rocket fuel, fam! The latest conundrum from the cosmic boardroom is that space startups are swapping their shiny satellites for defense contracts like they’re running a clearance sale at a 99-cent store! 🛒💸 🤡 Remember when we were going to Mars? Yeah, that’s cute. Now, it’s more like “How can we blow stuff up in space?” 😅 *Leaked Developer Quote:* “Dude, I thought we were building space elevators, but now we’re just throwing money at the military like it’s confetti at a wedding.” 🎉💀 STONKS! 📈🔥 The SmallSat Symposium, aka the ‘Let’s Panic About Space’ Convention, threw shade on these cash-hungry startups. 🚫💔 But honestly, can we blame them? 💁‍♂️ When your mission is to make money, the galaxy ain’t the only thing that’s expanding! What’s next? NASA getting replaced by *Warcraft: Space Edition*? 🎮🚀😆 “You think that’s a rocket? Nah, that’s just my defense contractor contract.” So strap in, while we watch these space whales make the cringe pivot from building to blasting! Living for that chaotic energy! 🔥🔥 My bold prediction? 🚨 By 2025, Elon will drop a SpaceX line of military-grade fireworks. 💥💀 I can already see the memes… “This is NOT fine.” 🌌💥