🛑🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨🛑 Snap just pulled a major “hold my juice box” move by acquiring Saturn, the calendar app that’s been rocking high schools harder than TikTok dances! 🤡💥 Why calendar? I dunno, maybe Snap wants to finally help teens meet their deadlines like that one teacher named “Mr. Assignments” who's always low-key judging you? 🧑‍🏫💀 Alright, let’s break it down like Sunday school math: Snap knows that **80% of US high schoolers** are already riding the Saturn wave. So, it’s like if Drake and his 3D-printed anime boyfriend threw a rager and forgot to tell you the date. 🗓️💅 Snap is hinting that this calendar acquisition could birth some wild spreadsheet features in Snapchat. Imagine shared Snapchat streaks with deadlines! 😂🔥 “Hey bro, we need to take a Snapchat of our project due TOMORROW!” Yeah, good luck with that. In a leaked dev chat, one genius said, "Dude, this is gonna be ***lit*** — now we can build a DM feature to remind kids about their science projects! #nofilter!" 🤖💬 Get ready for calendar features that will leave you questioning your entire existence, because who doesn't need a reminder to wake up at 8 AM for *actual* school? 🚀📚 Here’s my prediction: In 2025, Saturn will transform into the ultimate “suggestive calendar,” waking you up with meme reminders and notifications like “Bro, remember to breathe today!” 😱🤪 You heard it here first, folks!