🔥🚨 BREAKING: Snap just bought Saturn, the *most* basic calendar app to bless our screens since that calendar your mom made for you in 2005! 🤡💀 No cap, they say it helps you manage your school schedule and share it with friends... because what’s more social than knowing when your geometry homework is due? 🙄 Like, can we get a *round of applause* for this random acquisition? 👏 It’s like Snap saw TikTok's glow-up and was like, "Hold my protein shake; we're about to save students from the horrors of planning!" 💪💰 🧠 *Leaked dev quote: “We figured school was tough enough already, might as well make it cringe by sharing schedules.”* 🤡 And here's the tea 🍵: the only thing Saturn is launching is us straight back to 2008 with a calendar that looks like a middle school project! This is fine. But in classic tech fashion, expect a “Mars Project: Study Dates” feature to drop in, like, 2 weeks— because nothing screams “study group” like AR drawings of your crush and loud music blasting in the background. 🎶 **HOLD UP**: In a shocking twist, I predict that Snap will soon be integrating a feature that lets you date your calendar. 🤖🔥 #SaturnSmash! So buckle up, fam—2024 is about to go off the rails! 🚀💥