🚨 ALERT: Amazon Prime Day is basically the Super Bowl for people who can’t stop spending 💳💸 and we’re all over here like: *Drake pointing at low prices* 👀✨ Ready to drown your wallet in DEEP discounts on Echoes, Kindles, and Fire TVs? 😱 *This is fine* 🔥🔥 If you ain't a Prime member, get ready to *cope* while others feast on those juicy deals, fr fr. So, here’s the tea 🍵: Prime Day is not just another day in the Amazon jungle; it’s the DESOLATION OF AMONKIND. You’ll find Kindles for as low as $95—$35 off, just enough to make you wonder if you need that avocado toast today. 🥑💔 And let’s face it, the Kindle Kids edition is just a trick to get your spawn reading so you can Netflix in peace. Kids nowadays can have a whole year of Amazon Kids+ while you’re binging *The Office* again for the 27th time. 📚😅 *Stonks!* 👀 Leaked dev quote: “I put the ‘kind’ in Kindle. Also, I hope you enjoy being a Prime sheep!” – some guy in a cubicle that eats instant ramen 👁️‍🗨️ Prediction: In 2025, Amazon will drop a new device that literally reads your thoughts. You think I'm kidding? Nah fam, I’m just way ahead of the curve. 💥🚀 Share this chaos or prepare for the consequences! 🙌💀