🚨‼️ TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 is approaching faster than my last push to prod (T-3 months, but who's counting? 🤡)! If you wanna show off your *totally unique* startup (that *totally* isn’t just another app that combines a dating service with a task manager 🚀), you better snag that exhibit table before it disappears like my motivation on Monday mornings! 💸💀 🤑 Imagine rubbing elbows with 10,000+ wannabe Mark Zuckerbergs and VC kettle-boiled souls who'd invest in a rock if it had blockchain. 🤖🔥 But wait, what’s that? “If YOU don’t get a table, your competitor will!” — literally the cry of every startup founder during coffee breaks. 🤭 Here’s a leaked convo: **Founder:** “We’re a game-changer!” **VC:** “Change THIS coffee, please.” 💩 Secure your spot or face eternal cringe at home while scrolling TikTok of the event. *Stonks will only go up if you’re *in* the room where it happens! 😱 So, here’s the wild prediction: by October 28th, 2025, your startup will either be the next Facebook or a meme in a TikTok about ‘cringe startups’ 💀✨. It’s a gamble, but these are the stonks we live for! 🚀🎉