🚨 ALERT: BORING TECH NEWS JUST GOT SPICIER THAN A GHOST PEPPER 🌶️🔥 Yo, fam, gather ‘round because Smarsh just dropped a REVELATION that’s juicier than your uncle's conspiracy theories at Thanksgiving. 🍗🤡 They wanna flex their AI-powered data surveillance to combat financial misconduct, and boy, they’re acting like they just discovered fire! 🔥💰 Imagine this: your data is like a scavenger hunt but more “Where’s Waldo?” and less “I have a life to live!” 📉💀 Smarsh’s Intelligent Agent is out here mixing continuous learning with real-time surveillance. That’s right, folks, it’s like the AI version of the all-seeing eye 👁️🌌 having a meltdown in the compliance office! But let’s be real—does anyone actually believe that privacy is going to survive this AI apocalypse? Cringe! 🤖💔 LEAKED DEV QUOTE: “Honestly, we just slap some AI on it, and hope for the best. If it fails, we’ll blame it on the ‘learning curve’ – classic corporate dodge!” 😂💀 In conclusion, if you think your data’s safe, just know it’s on AI’s watchlist now! So stonks might tank if the wrong meme leaks 😂📈, and don’t be surprised if year-end compliance reports turn into a Netflix documentary. 🎬💥 PREDICTION: By 2025, your bank account will be monitored by a sentient toaster. No cap! 😱🍞