🚨 WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEADS! 🚨 If you thought sleep trackers were just another overpriced piece of tech that’s only useful for counting how many times you get up to pee at 3 AM, THINK AGAIN! 😵💤🔍 👾 It’s 2025, and we’ve got sleep trackers that could probably calculate the square root of your misery while you snooze! 😴✨ ZDNET is over here doing the absolute MOST, spending countless hours testing these gadgets like they’re auditioning for a reality show named "Survivor: Sleep Edition"—our money’s on ‘most hours spent in REM’ 👀🏆. 🔥 “These trackers are definitely based,” said an anonymous developer, probably choking on their cold brew. “But for real, they just keep me from sleeping in meetings. No cap. 🤡💀” Sounds accurate! And guess what? You too could achieve *peak sleep performance*. Go from “This is fine” to “I’m a LEGEND” in just one night! 🌙🚀💰 Imagine waking up not feeling like a potato chip but more like an unpackaged snack from Trader Joe’s—crunchy and full of LIFE! 💥 So here’s the hot take: in 2026, your sleep tracker will probably wake you up for a *meeting* it scheduled with your subconscious, and you’ll either be a productivity god or just extremely caffeinated. Either way, drag your dreams into the future, fam! 💫 #SleepGoals