🔥🚨 BREAKING: Signal Just Went FULL COMMIE with Its First Paid Feature! 🚨🔥 That's right, fam! Signal, the app that’s like the “good vibes only” of messaging, is pulling the ultimate BOOMER move by charging you $1.99 a month for encrypted backups of all those memes you sent your friends from 2022. 🤡💀 You heard me right! For the price of a fancy latte that you spill while trying to get your friends to stop using WhatsApp, you can now store those deep, dark secrets securely! (But remember: if you forgot to back it up in 45 days, it's bye-bye 🥲). “Media requires a lot of storage, and storing large amounts of data is expensive,” says Jim O’Leary, VP of Engineering (probably while he’s hoarding all your meme history like a dragon 🐉). Cue the “this is fine” meme while the tech world runs around like headless chickens crying over their skippable ads and data selling! 🤖💰 BUT WAIT, there’s a FREE tier! 🎉 You can still save 100MB of your cringy texts before they fade into oblivion—perfect for those “LOL, what did I even say?” moments. 🔮 **UNHINGED PREDICTION**: By 2025, Signal will be charging you $10/month for a “premium” feature that tells you if your crush read your messages or if they ghosted you. Space-time capability? Based! Get ready for a wild ride, tech fam! 🚀🚀💥 Share this before the backups expire! 🕰️💔