🚨 STOP THE PRESSES 🚨💥 SiFive just dropped some new CPU designs, and boy, are they hotter than my morning coffee! ☕🔥 These brainiacs from Santa Clara are spitting out FOUR new cores optimized for AI, which means your toaster will soon be able to criticize your life choices like your parents do! 🤖💔 #AIOverlord 🤡 Valued at $2.5 billion? That’s as much as my hopes and dreams—two things that don’t compute! 💰🤑 🧠💥 All this RISC-V drama has got me feeling like Drake: "Not this one 🥴, but that one 👉"—because who needs AMD and Intel when you can roll with the open-source crew? Based! 👏👏 And get this, a “leaked” developer quote just dropped: “We’re basically giving chips wifi so they can never escape our poorly optimized code. 😎🤷‍♂️” But let’s keep it real—who’s gonna integrate *all* this new tech? Half the world still thinks "AI" is just abbreviation for "All Italians." 🍝😂 🔥🔮 Hot take: In 5 years, SiFive will either rule the galaxy or become the next Blockbuster. Buckle up, it’s either gonna be a wild ride or a glorious flop! 🚀💀 #SiFiveStonks #AIisComing