🎄🎁🎉 HOLIDAY SHOPPING ALERT! 🚨💥 Y’all know what time it is! It’s the season of making it rain 🎉💰 and praying your aunt doesn’t choke on the fruitcake you bought from Walmart’s clearance section. 😬🎂 But don’t just throw random gifts at your loved ones like you're in a TikTok challenge! 🤡👀 So, if you wanna be the Santa who actually delivers, here’s the tea! ☕️ Amazon is flexing its two-day shipping like it’s 2019: *“We offer same-day delivery, no cap!”* 😤🔥 Apple is taking a break from changing the charging port to say “yes, we return items, but only if you bring the receipts, fam.” 📜🤑 Meanwhile, Target is like that friend who promises you a ride but ghost you last minute. “We’ve got extended returns... as long as it’s not January 31st!” 📅💀 And don’t even get me started on GameStop; their return policy is basically the “this is fine” meme on steroids. 💀🕵️‍♂️ A confession leaked from the "Top Secret Retailers' Dev Team" behind closed doors: *“We just want you to buy more stuff, okay?”* 🤷‍♂️🤖 So, grab those deals and avoid the cringe when Grandma unwraps a gift that’s literally a sock! 🤦‍♀️🔥 🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION 🔥🔥: By 2025, holiday shopping will only be done via drone, and all returns must be done using interpretive dance! 💃🚀🐦 #MostLitChristmasEver