🔥💰🌲 *BREAKING NEWS: Sequoia Capital's Roelof Botha drops a knowledge bomb that’ll have founders clutching their wallets!* 💰🔥 So, picture this: Sequoia is like the wise old owl at the tech forest, and Roelof just rained on everyone’s “sky-high valuations” parade like it’s the Fourth of July 🎆. He basically said: “Chasing those fat numbers? 🤡 No cap, that’s a one-way ticket to Doomsville.” And the crowd? 😂 ROFL in the aisles, because they KNOW those valuations are as fragile as your Wi-Fi connection during a Zoom call. But wait, there’s more! 😱 The Trump administration is out here playing Monopoly with American companies, taking equity like it's snack time at the VC buffet. 🍕🤖 “When the White House is on your cap table, does that mean your company's got a new roommate? 🏠💀” *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Yeah, but I mean, at least they don't eat my ramen.” 🙄 So what’s the takeaway? If you ain’t treating those valuations like your April rent—*don’t chase them, or you’ll seethe like a coding noob debuggin’ at 3 AM* 🤯. And for the grand finale: I predict we’re just one TikTok away from a viral dance craze celebrating “the collapse of inflated startups.” Get ready for #ValuationCrashDance! 💃🚀✨