🚨🦙 BREAKING: Sequoia Capital just hit the refresh button on their management like it’s the last season of “Game of Thrones” — *but this time, it might be good* 🍻🔥! After Roelof Botha has been solo-carrying the firm since 2022, they’ve decided to toss the ol’ ball to Alfred Lin and Pat Grady. “It’s like we’re going from a LONE WOLF to a dynamic DUO” said some anonymous developer 🥸🤖 (or was it just my cat? Who knows!). The new stewards are ready to take on the whims of the VC universe like they’re folding laundry while holding a million-dollar pitch deck — you can only imagine how THAT’S gonna go down 😅. Meanwhile, investors everywhere are like “who?” 🤔💸. Stonks are probably taking a nap while this drama unfolds—this is fine. Imagine the team meetings: “Let’s make Sequoia cooler than your Tinder profile!” Yeah, sure, buddy. Good luck with that! 💀🤣 🔥🛸 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2025, Sequoia will pivot to funding intergalactic startups — think: space farming for TikTok influencers. No cap! 🚀✨ #GalacticStonks!