🚨👀 BREAKING: Sen. Ted Cruz is tryna snatch your Wi-Fi faster than your little brother grabbing the last slice of pizza 🍕😤. Who needs internet when we can just auction off your spectrum to the big boys of telecom, amirite? 💰💀 So here’s the tea 🍵: Cruz's budget bill wants to hand over your precious 6 GHz Wi-Fi frequencies to carriers like AT&T and Verizon 👀🤖. Yup, the same companies that charge you an arm and a leg for data that barely works when you step outside! 🚶‍♂️📶 This is like letting your bully have first dibs on the school lunch line while you seethe in the corner, eating your sad apple 🍏. "Why not just auction off my dignity too while you're at it?" one imaginary developer said, clearly having a meltdown 💥. #ThisIsFine. It’s cringe that lawmakers are playing hot potato with tech meant for the people just to line their pockets with corporate stonks 👔💵. Here's the wild prediction: if this passes, we’ll all be living in a dystopian future where we have to battle for Wi-Fi signals in a post-apocalyptic landscape. Last one online is a rotten egg! 🥚🔥 So strap in, fam, and get ready to chase the Wi-Fi dragon like it’s your last chance to win a supply drop in Warzone! 🎮🚀 #WiFiWars2023