🚨BREAKING: Seagate just dropped a 30TB hard drive and it's cheaper than your last impulse Amazon buy!💸💥 That's right, fam, for only $600 you too can own a quantum black hole that devours your data like it's Black Friday! 🛒💀💾 Forget your average hard drive, this bad boy uses **HAMR**—no, not the sandwich, but “heat-assisted magnetic recording.” It’s like giving your data a sauna day before storing it! 🥵🔥😂 Imagine the drive heating up, cooling down, and being all dramatic like it’s auditioning for a Netflix series. “Hamr: The Drama.” 🎭📺 "Honestly, what even is a hard drive?" - some poor soul who doesn't BACK UP their files 😱🔒 Seagate's been like that overly optimistic friend who said they'd hit the gym this year…ahem, it’s taken them 20 years to actually deliver! 💪✨ Meanwhile, this product rollout got more delays than your last online order. 📦⏳ The inevitable meme drought has ended—time to meme the world with that “30TB or die” energy! 💃🚀 **Hot Take**: In 5 years, we'll all have 100TB drives, but they’ll be sentient and ask for our emotional support. “You’re not just storing data, you’re storing my feelings.” 🤖💔 Discussions of ‘drive therapy’ may just go off the rails—fr fr.