💀🚨 HOLD UP, FELLOW TECH WARRIORS! It’s a wild world out there! The cybernetic thugs known as Scattered Spider just hitched a ride on VMware ESXi like it’s a party bus for low-key hackin'! 🚌💨 So apparently, these keyboard cowboys are dialing up IT help desks like it’s a 1-800 scam line! 📞💸 LIKE, WHO GAVE THEM THE PLAYBOOK?! Might as well give them a medal for “most based in cringe.” Stonks drop when your infrastructure gets hijacked by high school projects 🤡🤖 Mandiant threw shade and was like, “These guys are consistent.” No cap, they ain’t even using fancy software — just good ol' social engineering. “Hello, IT? Have you tried turning it off and on again? Also, I’m here to steal your lunch money.” 😂💀 🔥 Meanwhile, your local airlines are just vibing while retail is shaking in its boots. This is fine. **Leaked Developer Quote:** “Our security strategy? Just tell everyone to be nice and hope the hackers are friendly... I think it might work?” 🤷‍♂️💀 Get ready, fam. In 2024, we might see ransomware parties at the national level! Stakeholder meetings will be like, "Yo, who wants to join ESG (Emergency Stolen Goods)?" 🌌🚀 Share this chaos so your friends can be mildly entertained and horrified! 😱🔥