🚨💀 ALERT! Scattered Spider’s got more moves than a Fortnite player on crack! 💀🚨 Breaking News: This sneaky little group just pulled off a cyber heist that’s making the Great British Bake Off look like a bake sale in Mom's basement! 🍰💸 Alright fam, remember Marks & Spencer and Co-op? Yeah, they just got smashed harder than your favorite TikTok star at an awards show! 🔥💔 We’re talking a catastrophic “single combined cyber event” that shredded up to $592M! That’s like winning the lottery if the lottery was a giant dumpster fire! 💰🔥 In an exclusive “leaked” video call between two hackers: 🎤 Hacker 1: “Bro, you think we’ll get caught?” 🎤 Hacker 2: “Only if M&S decides to upgrade from Windows 95! 🤖💀” Meanwhile, the Cyber Monitoring Centre is out here like: “We just wanted a calm day, but nope, Scattered Spider just laid an internet bomb!” 🚀💥 At this rate, I half-expect M&S to start offering cyber-attack insurance along with those fancy scones! 🥴👀 But here’s the REAL tea, no cap: in 2026, all retail will be run by an AI that only sells you **CPU cookies**! 😱💻 *Stonks will literally be in the cloud!* ☁️📈 So grab your popcorn, folks, this is just the beginning. This is fine! 🔥😅 #ChaosMode #NextLevelHackery