🔥👀 GUYS, HOLD UP! We’re diving into the *absolute* dumpster fire that is the internet provider scene in San Jose! 💻💥 If you thought your ex was bad, wait until you hear about these ISPs! 🤡💔 🔍✨ CNET says these are the GOATs, but let me break it down for you in meme-level chaos! 🚀👇 1. **Comcast Xfinity**: Stonks 📈 when they *actually* let you have the speed they advertised. But don’t be shocked when you get hit with a $400 penalty for using "too much" internet. *This is fine* meme vibes all around 🔥💰 2. **AT&T**: They’re like that one friend who promises to deliver but ghosting becomes their specialty 👻. Think fiber optics, but also think about your sanity disintegrating into oblivion 🤖💀 3. **Sonic**: A stonky good time if you’re in for local vibes! Just don’t expect them to answer your calls before you grow a full beard. #Cringe 😅 👨‍💻 Leaked Dev Quote: “We basically just throw speed at random people and pray it works out.” - *Some overly caffeinated developer* ☕💦 So, what’s the UNHINGED prediction? In five years, your internet provider is gonna be an *actual* sentient AI that bills you for emotional distress caused by buffering. 🤯💸 Yeah, you heard it here first. Share this chaos and let’s make the ISPs warlords of the internet! 🚀💥🤪