🚨📢 BREAKING: San Francisco Internet Showdown! 🔥💻 Okay, fam, gather 'round! Get your popcorn 🍿 because we're diving into the tech wasteland that is internet providers in San Fran—where the traffic is as slow as a dial-up modem on a Monday morning! 🐢💨💀 CNET just dropped their "best of" list, and tbh, it’s like putting a cherry on a crap sundae. 🍒🤮 Let’s break it down: 1. **Company 1**: Fast enough to stream your *cats on Roombas* TikToks, but not fast enough to upload your *highly tuned gaming skills* 🕹️. Price? Look at the **stonks**—I mean, can we NOT with those fee-gouging plans? 💸 2. **Company 2**: Their customer service is like that “This is fine” dog meme; everything's on fire, and they’re just sipping tea. ☕🔥 3. **Company 3**: The budget plan brings the vibes of “fr fr, I just want Netflix and chill” but feels like you're on ads and buffering. Drake pointing at better options, but whatever. 🙄📉 “Leaked” quote from a developer: “Our new 5G? More like 5-crying!” 😂💔 🚀💥 HOT TAKE: In 2024, San Francisco will finally invent *WiFi crystals* that harness the power of *good intentions*. Cope with that, ISPs! Share this chaotic love letter to the internet trenches! 🌌✨