🚨BREAKING NEWS ALERT: AI TAKES OVER LOANS, LENDERS SHOOKETH! 🚨💰🤖 Hold up, fam! 🥳🚀 The tech gods have blessed us (again, for some reason) with the birth of Salient, the company that’s automating the post-loan origination process because who even has time for that boring paperwork? 😴💤 I mean, let’s be real: if it doesn’t involve memes, did it even happen? 🤷‍♂️ Cue a16z swooping in like Drake pointing: "I don’t want your loan, I want SALIENT!" 🍆📈💸 This $60 million Series A funding round is basically the meme equivalent of pouring hot sauce on your dinner—HAWT🔥! And can we talk about that $350M valuation? Like, for real? The stonks are going *WHOOSH* 🚀💎💰! “Honestly, we just wanted to make loans less boring,” said some imaginary dev from Salient while sipping a bubbly water with a cringe face. 🤡💦 So, what’s next? Salient’s gonna start automating our love lives too? “Hey, we know you’re single, here’s a loan for a Tinder subscription!” 🥴💔 Get ready, because in 20 years, the only thing left for us humans to do will be... uh... post TikToks? 🤳💥 THIS IS FINE. Just remember, if you’re vibing with robots running the world, you’re either a genius or a DOOMER 🙃💀. 💥🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 5 years, we’ll be taking loans from SENTIENT AI that demands emotional support in return. Maybe they’ll even swipe right on us? 🤖💥💘 #CringeButTrue