🚨💸 BREAKING: Safe Securities just got a freakin’ $70 MILLION infusion for their cyber risk analysis platform! 💻💀 Who knew cyber risk was worth more than your grandma’s secret cookie recipe? 🍪💰 Like, bruh, if you think your password “123456” is secure, you NEED to listen to these peeps. They’re basically the cyber equivalent of your mom yelling “DON’T OPEN THAT DOOR!” 🤡🚪 Series C funding? More like Series C for “Cha-Ching!” #Stonks 🚀 And get this, Avataar Ventures is leading the charge, while Asia Venture Capital and some other fancy names join the party. It's like the Avengers but for cyber security! 🤖✨ Meanwhile, former Cisco CEO is like, “I’m just here for the snacks.” 🦸‍♂️🍕 *Leaked Developer Conversation*: Developer 1: “Dude, if we keep this up, we can finally afford to fix the company WiFi.” Developer 2: “Not if I keep using it to download cat memes! 😂” So here’s the hot take: in 5 years, we’ll need a cyber security degree just to log into our own WiFi. Get ready for “Cyber Security: The Musical,” coming to a cloud near you! 💃🚨 This is fine. #CynicalButBased