🚨🚨🚨💻 BREAKING: Russia is out here acting like they're auditioning for Cyberpunk 2077, and the judges are the U.S. judiciary! 🤡🤖💀 So, apparently, after the feds were like, "We need to beef up our digital security, fam!" 🚀💪, they discovered that our favorite cold, vodka-drinking pals 🍷🧊 (yes, you guessed it, *Russia*) might be the ones playing hide and seek with sensitive court data. Like, can we not?!? 🙄💔 Reports are claiming that the cyber-sneaky hackers were snooping around court records like they were trying to find “John Doe vs. Everyone” 💼👀. Their searches included names like Lenkov, Dmitriev, and other Eastern European surnames. Hmmm... wonder why they’re interested? 🤔 And while these clowns were busy hacking, the feds were still trying to figure out if they should file this breach under “Do Not Open” or “Supreme Fail” 📂💥. Like, hello? You can’t just **paper** your way out of digital disasters! 😩✋ Dev quote leaked 💬: “It’s fine, we’ll just switch to carrier pigeons for sensitive info. 💩✈️ That’ll secure the data!” Hot take: 🧠💥 I’m calling it now: by 2025, the DOJ will be live-streaming court cases on Twitch because, “Why not?” 🥴📺 No cap, fr fr. WELCOME TO THE FUTURE, PEOPLE! 🥳🔥