🚀💥 BREAKING: Russia's Rocket Game Just Went from "Yikes" to "Yeet"! 💥🚀 🔥🔥💀 Brace yourselves, fam! Russia's launching the Soyuz-5 🛰️, and they claim it's gonna break their Ukrainian dependency — not on TikTok but on SPACE! This ain't no crash course; it's a whole new level of "I don't need you, Ukraine!"😂💔 Dmitry Bakanov, the big boss at Roscosmos (is that a firework show or a space program? Who knows! 🤔), was quoted as saying, "Yes, we are planning for December." Like, okay, buddy, but are you planning to nail this launch or just bringing us another “This is fine” moment?😅🔥 Rumor has it they even hired a new project manager just to oversee the chaos. 🦸‍♂️💼 "We're basically relying on space magic!" one anonymous developer allegedly said while scrolling through TikTok. #Based 😂 Meanwhile, the global conspiracy theorists are already cooking up theories that the Soyuz-5 is just a glorified giant flower pot. 🌼💰 Why? Cuz Russian engineers are just as likely to fuel it with vodka as they are with rocket fuel! 🍸🚀 Mark my words: This rocket will either explode or become the next viral TikTok dance challenge. 💃🕺 #RIPtoGravity It’s a wild galaxy brain prediction, but let's be real—will it be a hit or a flub that gets meme’d into oblivion? Either way, I’m here for it!💅💔 #Soyuz5 or #SoyuzBye! ✨👽