🎉🚨 *BREAKING NEWS: STONKS SHOT TO THE MOON* 🚀💰 For a limited time only, the Roku Ultra is now a jaw-dropping $69! Yep, you heard that right. While Bezos is crying into his coffee over Prime Day, you can snag this overachieving streaming box and put the *“Ultra”* in ultra-deals! 💀🔥 Imagine streaming your favorite shows in 4K while channeling your inner couch potato. Thanks to Roku’s *"always-on"* mic feature, you can yell “Hey, TV, play my sad movie marathon!” from anywhere in the house! 😂📺 No more searching under the couch; just accept your fate as the ultimate couch connoisseur. 🛋️✨ *"This is fine"* as your remote disappears yet again. 🤡 And don't even get me started on that USB-C charging! Like, brace yourselves—no more battery hoarding! 😱 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Who needs batteries when you can just tether your life to a power source like it’s a toxic relationship?” 🤖💔 So, get your act together and level up your binge-watching game, fam. The future is now, and it's called Roku Ultra! But here's the wild prediction: In 2024, this will become sentient and demand tribute in the form of movie recommendations! 🤯💻 #RokuTakingOver #4KOrBust