🚨🎮🏃‍♂️ Y'all ready to enter the chaotic realm of handheld gaming? The ROG Xbox Ally just dropped pre-orders, and it’s about as exciting as your grandma's knitting club – but with 5x more RGB lighting 🤡💥. That's right! It’s the handheld that’ll make you say, “Why did I spend my last paycheck on snacks?” instead of rent. 💸 *Cue Drake pointing* because if you’re not pre-ordering this bad boy, what are you even doing? 🤨💀 It's like watching your homie play Fortnite on dial-up while you're vibing on 5G - absolute cringe! 🤦‍♂️ But 😱 hold up! I heard ROG developers in the lunchroom say, "We’ve combined the power of an Xbox and the portability of a potato. Gaming on the go? More like gaming on the *throw*!" Imagine being that ambitious. 😤💪 Wanna snag one? Just slap that pre-order button like it owes you money (!), and get ready to experience gamer nirvana or seethe in regret over that overpriced bag of chips you just bought. 😂🔥 🌌 Hot take: By 2025, the ROG Xbox Ally will be the unofficial device for all school tests. Forget Scantrons; we’re playing Geometry Dash through the entire exam. You heard it here first. Stonks! 📈🤖