🚨👀 HOLD UP, fam! RFK Jr. just dropped a health bomb on us, and it’s giving major *Everybody Should Have a Wearable* vibes! 😳💥 "Track your health, or you're living in 2020, fam!" he says while putting on a smartwatch like it’s a crown of sanity 👑⏱️. So, you're telling me the government is *seriously* telling us to strap little tech gremlins to our bodies and hope they don’t turn us into the next episode of "Black Mirror"?! 🤖💀 I can already hear the convo in the dev's basement: "Dude, what if we just made everyone wear these and collected their secrets?" LOL 😂🔑 But fr fr, if you’ve got a wearable, you're basically the T-800 of tracking your steps, heart rate, and how many times you’ve had an existential crisis this week (it’s more than you think!). 🥴🔄 The only problem? Accuracy can be as reliable as your friend's TikTok dance skills. 🕺💩 You might get bomb alerts instead of health updates. "Your heart rate is high!" Yeah, it's the *stresses of 2023*, Karen! 😤🔥 **Hot take:** If everyone wears these gadgets, I predict we’ll all end up on a group Zoom call discussing how to turn our emerging mutant powers into a startup. Stonks 🚀💰 or *full-on dystopia*? Either way, it’s gonna be *lit* 🔥💯.