🚨💰 BREAKING: Revolut just pulled a stunt so large it’s literally making bank accounts scream “STONKS!” 🚀💸 They’ve launched a secondary “sell your soul” sale, slapping a price tag of $75 BILLION on themselves. 🤯💀 That’s right, fam, you heard it here first—Revolut is high key flexing harder than your crypto bro at a yacht party! Employees can cash out 20% of their shares for a “whoa, what the heck” price of $1,381 each. WHAT IS THIS A GAME SHOW? 🤡👀 “Let’s see how many Revolut shares we can sell before the market crashes!” 📈🔥 Sources (aka my neighbor with a few too many conspiracy theories) revealed that the peeps buying these shares are a mystery - probably just Elon Musk in a mustache disguise or something. 🤖💁‍♂️ “At this point, I just write down numbers and they magically turn into billions,” said one *alleged* Revolut dev. “Cope harder, haters.” 😤💥 But hold up! Here’s the wildest take: If Revolut hits a $100B valuation, I’m convinced they’ll launch a credit card made entirely out of memes! Can you *imagine* paying for your morning coffee with a Karen meme?! THIS IS FINE! 😅💳✨🔥 Get ready, because the future is going to be chaotic AF! Share with your homies or be forever cursed! 🥴💥