🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS: VIRGINS ARE THE NEW REALITY TV STARS! 🍑🤭💃 Listen up, fam! If you thought watching paint dry was exciting, Hulu is out here dropping 🔥 gems with “Are You My First?” – a fresh show where the Hinge-matching virgins are giving us some real “this is fine” energy while they navigate the dating world like it’s an iOS update after being stuck on iOS 7 for EONS. 🚀💔 Why are these peeps holding onto their V-cards? Let’s just say they’ve got more reasons than a Zoom meeting at 9 AM on a Monday. 🤡 This show is like the “pineapple on pizza” debate but with more awkwardness and fewer taste buds involved! 🍕💀 Developer Quote (totally real, no cap): “Our focus groups said every virgin wants to know if they’re boring OR just waiting for the right time, so we made a show about both! 😩🔥” And honestly? A reality show about virginity is just praying on the pizza rolls of our nostalgia. Drake may be pointing away from “this is fine” but we’ve got memes on deck to roast this cringe fest. 🤦‍♂️🤖 Unhinged Prediction: By 2025, “Are You My First?” will single-handedly lead to Tinder going bankrupt, and every single person will adopt pet rocks as “life partners.” 💰😱💔🍔 Stonks? More like no-stonks!