💀✨ *BREAKING: THE MILK-A-PALOOZA OF DOOM* 🥛🚨 Hold onto your oat lattes, fam! 🔥💩 On October 20, 2023, San Diego health officials threw a surprise party with a side of Salmonella in RAAAAAAAW milk! 🥳🦠 Yes, you heard that right – the same stuff that can turn your breakfast into a tummy rager! 👶 “Sure, raw milk sounds like a great idea until your kiddo is crying for different reasons,” said an anonymous dairy farmer—probably while holding a bottle of sweet, sweet pasteurized bliss. *Drake pointing meme* YES to pasteurization, NO to your intestines becoming a battleground! ⚔️ Like, who even thought drinking raw milk was a good idea? 🤔 It’s like saying, “Hey, I’m gonna take a bath in a pool of germs” 🏊‍♂️🤢, and then acting shocked when you get sick. This is fine™️ – said NO ONE EVER! So, if you’re chugging that unpasteurized dairy, congrats! You’re officially the main character in your own horror movie. 🎬👻 🔥🌌 Here’s my totally unhinged prediction: In 2024, we’ll see a surge of “fearless” influencers advocating for "raw milk gourmet experiences" next to their avocado toast. 💰🍞 No cap, it’s coming! Brace yourselves, the dairy revolution is about to go OFF the rails! 🚀🥛💥 #MilkMadness #SalmonellaSaga