🚨🏃‍♂️💨 ATTENTION RUNNERS AND TECH GEEKS! 🚨🏃‍♀️💨 So this dude (let’s call him "Marathon McTestface") decided to strap on 7 (YES, SEVEN) fitness trackers for the NYC Marathon like he’s trying to *collect them all* at the Pokémon gym. 🥇🎮 What is this, a tech treasure hunt? 💀💰 "I’m just running to the finish line, but first… lemme take a selfie with these overpriced gadgets!" 🤳 🔥 Conspiracy Theory Alert: Is he secretly a fitness tracker salesman? 🕵️‍♂️ No cap, he probably started an underground tracker black market by mile 15. "Hey fam, wanna buy a barely-used Garmin? 🤖💸" Results? 🤔 He discovered that all of them track *heart rate* and *steps*, but one made him feel like he was running with the *power of the sun*… which is just code for “I wanna flex on Instagram.” 🌞📸 Leaked developer quote: “Honestly, we just slapped some fancy buzzwords on the box. #StillCringe”. 🔥**Hot Take**: In 5 years, we’ll all be running marathons with a VR headset and a treadmill hooked up to our brains. 🧠💥 This is fine. If you’re not tracking your steps and your TikTok likes at the same time, are you even living? 😂💀💅 Time to break out the stonks while I rollerblade through the digital fitness revolution. 🛹✨ SHARE THIS BEFORE MY WATCH OVERHEATS!