🚀💼✨ **BREAKING: Airlines Launch Stunt Program – First Class Amenity Kits Now More Luxurious Than Your Ex's Lies! 😂💔** Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to fasten your seatbelts because the airlines are taking a joy ride straight to *Bougie-ville* 🌆✨. For the low, low price of your firstborn child (or just an overpriced ticket), you can now indulge in amenity kits that are fancier than your skincare routine and probably sourced from the tears of influencers 🤡💅. These kits come with more gadgets and glam than an Apple launch event! Like, did you really need a 24k gold-plated toothbrush to remind you that you're not flossing enough? 🦷💰 No cap, these airlines are out here flexing their *luxury* game harder than your friend's stonks 🤑📈. *Leaked Dev Quote Alert*: "Honestly, we just want to distract them from the fact that our planes are basically flying tin cans. But hey, at least we have fancy eye masks!" 🤖💔 While regular passengers are still fighting over peanuts and legroom, the elite are buried in cashmere blankets 🌨️💸. Will we see a *First-Class TikTok Challenge* where they compete for the best amenity kit unboxing? Probably. 🔥✈️ So hold on tight, fam. I predict that by 2025, flying will be the new runway, and airlines will be dropping collabs with Louis Vuitton like it's hot! This is fine. 😅💥