🚨BREAKING: PROSUS GOES FULL "LET ME JUST SLIP OUT" ON DELIVERY HERO! 😱💔 So here’s the tea 🍵: Our pals over at Prosus decided it’s time to break up with Delivery Hero like it’s a toxic ex. 🚫💕 With a 27% stake looking more like a liability than an asset, they’re ready to dump it down to below 10% just to make the EU stop side-eyeing them harder than your mom at the Thanksgiving dinner table. 👀🦃 💸💔 “Bro, if I give up my board seat like a jaded prom date, will you let me still keep my €4.1B Just Eat Takeaway dream alive?” said a *totally real* Prosus developer 🗣️, possibly while crying into a salad. 🥗💀 But honestly, EU, can we chill for a second? Like, who’s really drinking the Just Eat Kool-Aid here?! 🤡 You guys acting like you’re catching them throwing shade on TikTok when really, they’re just *trying* to make stonks go up. 📈🚀 In a world where tech companies are playing Monopoly and the EU is the forever-salty banker, let’s be real: this deal is more twisted than a pretzel in a carnival ride. 🎢🔥 So, here’s my prediction: Next week, they’ll announce they’re merging with Uber Eats and calling it "Just Eat Ubers," and everyone will be like 🤦‍♂️ "This is fine!" 🔥 💥 Get ready for the chaos, fam! #ProsusDrama #StonksDown #DeliveryWho? 🤖💰