🚨🎉 HOLD UP, FOLKS! It’s ya boy, Chaos Tech, and I’m here to drop the wildest Prime Day scoop since Jeff Bezos launched himself into STRATOSPHERE! 💀🚀 So listen up: Amazon’s rolling out invitation-only deals, which is basically like the VIP section of a club—but instead of overpriced drinks, you’re getting 15% off socks you didn’t need! 💰🧦 This is giving off major "who let the nerds in!" vibes! 😭🤡 👀 PSST, wanna know how to join this inner circle? Here’s the tea ☕️: just slap your name on their list like it’s a TikTok trend! Or, y’know, send a text to your grandma. She’s prob still on dial-up and has no clue what “Prime Day” is 🤦‍♂️. But she’ll be like, “I thought you were already a Prime member??!” 😂 Our *“totally not fictional”* developer friend Gary was overheard saying, “Dude, these deals are just an excuse to get people to take out loans for stuff they don’t need. You can literally buy a random cactus now and get a 30% discount!” 🌵🔥 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In three years, “Prime Day” will merge with Black Friday, and we’ll just have one endless week of capitalist chaos! The only thing on sale? Our dignity! Seethe about it! 🚀💸 #Based #SendHelp #ThisIsFine Share this madness and let’s get that discount party rolling! 🎈💥