🚨💰🔔 **BREAKING: Amazon Prime Day 2 is basically the Super Bowl of sales for broke nerds!** 🔔💰🚨 Listen up, fam! 📣 Prime Day is here and it's like Christmas for the poor, but without the awkward family dinners! 🎄➡️🥴 You want a Kindle? Get ready to throw a whole $95 at the *Kindle Kids*! That’s like feeding the kids popcorn instead of real food. 🍿💁‍♂️ But hold up! It's not just *any* Kindle—it’s glowing in the dark like a fly on a summer night! 😵‍💫 With a super cute cover to keep your toddler busy enough so you can scroll TikTok in peace, and a two-year warranty for when they inevitably use it as a chew toy! 🐶💔 And let’s talk about the Fire TV Stick! 🔥🚀 It's like streaming heaven for your binge-watching addiction (no cap). You could watch Netflix in all its glory while pretending to be productive! *Drake sigh* 😩💻 Pro tip: If Alexa starts yelling at you while you’re trying to find your last shred of motivation, just tell her, “This is fine.” 🥴🔥 **Leaked dev quote:** “Our tech team is baffled why people want to buy the same device at Christmas prices, but hey—*stonks!*” 💹💀 **Hot take:** In 2024, everyone will have an Echo in their bathroom, and they’ll call it “Alexa, help me cope with my life choices.” 💩🚽💖 Share this to save a friend from a boring life. 🔥🔥