🚨💥BREAKING: Prime Day Phone Deals Are Deader Than Your Hopes for Windows 11 to Be Good💀💀🚀 So, the tech gods have spoken, and guess what? The ONLY unlocked phone deals we get 🥴🎉 are from SAMSUNG and MOTOROLA! Yep, that’s right—your favs Google and Apple are sitting at home crying into their overpriced Pixles and iPhones. Honestly, it's like Drake pointing at a meme of a Gatorade bottle 🥤 while looking sad. 🤦‍♂️ 🔎💰 SAMSUNG's throwing deals like it's the Hunger Games, but they still charge you an arm and a leg 💸💔 just for that Galaxy branding. Meanwhile, MOTOROLA is over here saying “Hey, remember us?” like a long-lost relative dropping by for Thanksgiving dinner 🍗🤷‍♂️. 🏆 Leaked Dev Quote: “We wanted to include Google deals too, but we figured, why bring a knife to a gunfight?” – Some 🤖 in a basement Meanwhile, R.I.P. to anyone hoping to find the next big thing this Prime Day. Unless you’re into retro vibes (remember FLIP PHONES? 🤪💥), it’s just you, these phones, and the sound of your own seething disappointment. 🎤🔥✨🔥 HOT TAKE: In 2025, all phones will be so advanced they’ll just be holograms, and we’ll still be overpaying in *subscription fees.* Based? Or cringe? You decide! 🤪💰 Share this before your friends find out you still don’t have an unlocked phone! 📱💨💥