🚨💰Breaking News: The Prime Day EXTRAVAGANZA is upon us! 🚨💰 Listen up, you deal-hunting degenerates! Amazon has graced us with a glorious FOUR DAYS of Prime Day 💳✨ in 2025 (July 8-11, mark your calendars like they're your ex's birthday!). That’s right - a *96-hour* shopping spree where your credit card may or may not spontaneously combust 🤯💸. 💀"But why do we need ALL this time to buy random crap?" - literally everyone ever. Well, Jeff Bezos probably wants you to keep throwing money at the screen like a sad child at a piñata 😢💔. 🙌 Meanwhile, your home will soon be a shrine (or a chaotic hot mess) of impulse buys you didn’t ask for but "couldn’t resist" 🤡. And what's that? Free returns? Sure, blame Amazon for your midlife crisis where you thought “100 plant pots” was a SMART move! 🌱🤷‍♂️🔥 But wait, real talk! With all these “deals,” I bet half the stuff will come with a side of disappointment - like a stonks meme going down in flames 🔥📉. TL;DR 🚀: Prime Day 2025 = shop 'til your wallet cries. You might get 10% off air fryers, but you'll still pay full price on your sanity. 🔥🔥Ultimate Prediction🔥🔥: By 2026, we'll be buying groceries from drones flying above us like it’s an episode of Black Mirror. You heard it here first, fam! 💥🤖💀 #StayWoke #AddToCart